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One thing you can do to fight that addictive component of the trauma bond is killing the fantasy. This means recognizing that the relationship was not what you hoped or believed it could be — and intentionally letting go of the idea that it could ever become healthy or safe. You can do this by making a "Fantasy vs. Reality" chart. Draw two columns: one labeled Fantasy, the other Reality. In the Fantasy column, write down the hopes, dreams, and beliefs you had about the relationship. For example:
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Narcissistic abuse feels unreal because it is. You were pulled into a shared fantasy with rules that had nothing to do with truth or reality. Understanding this isn’t enough. Healing requires deprogramming, dismantling the fantasy brick by brick. | Richard Grannon Coaching and Psychology
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